Life can be crazy. It can be a roller coaster, and, let’s face it, it can be heartbreaking.

So how do we pick ourselves up when things fall apart, particularly things that we are whole heartedly invested in? How do we remain engaged in life and all the richness and colour that it has to offer, whilst facing disappointments and heartache?

We could be talking about relationships here, but this stuff also applies to those moments when you are wanting a particular outcome with regard to a job, or a certain life goal. When your hopes and dreams are dashed, how do you recover, without acquiring a certain cynicism or bitterness? What’s the trick to it?

First things first. It is VITAL that you allow yourself the time to grieve. We often speak about the importance of embracing all our emotional states, and this becomes most challenging when we try to accept the negative aspects on the ‘feeling spectrum’.

The word spectrum implies colour, light. As human beings, we are capable of experiencing many colours emotionally. If we disconnect for a moment from our emotions, we can easily view them from a new perspective. Widen the lens a little, and we can ‘see’ how we have different emotions in response, or reaction to, what we are experiencing in life.

What part of us is telling us that any one is better than the other? The part that feels and enjoys the good, and then the same part that wants to reject the pain in the bad when we are in the thick of a ‘negative’ experience.

But, with a little detachment and a widened perspective, we can see that these feelings are ALL part of the whole, part of that spectrum, and it doesn’t help to deny any one more than another.

So, first things first, we must allow ourselves the time to move through our grief. The key really is letting your heart experience the disappointment, sadness and sometimes overwhelming heartache that is sometimes the result of life’s experience. This is what we mean to feel our hearts breaking.

When we are going through this, it often doesn’t feel as if it will ever end. Diving deep into so-called negative emotions can feel like an interminable sentence. Ever heard the phrase, “if you find yourself in hell, keep going!”? This one applies at these moments in life. BIG TIME.

It really helps to let go of any attachment to a time frame. This is going to take as long as it takes, and it’s unique to each and every one of us. Letting go of the pressure to ‘get over it and get on with life’ instantly both comforts and fortifies.

In Part II we’ll explore the different ways we chose to move through heartbreak, and how it can affect us.

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